Glory Glory
Music: One by One, The Calling
Book : The Post Office, Charles Bukowski
Mood: Heavy but Happy and Excited to be home
Hell week almost done, left one more day to go. Today was a massive battle in the afternoon at the meeting room, where so many staring eyes judging your performance, your presentation, your capabilities, your body, your clothes, all of you. It's like stepping into the land of mines, where unknown land mines are laid unnoticeably. One wrong step, one wrong word and harvest the homing missiles. There was I, trying to deploy and convince my idea, my creation, my work to the big bang table. It came too fast to even feel any of it, and gladly, there was some agreeable verdict, thank god, hard work (not really hard work) got paid off. At least it didn't waste away my thinking acids. It was so spontaneous, you could die of spontaneity. And can't believed i presented for 1 hour plus without any aids at all! That's scary. And i wanted to talk more even, hillariously unbelievable as i use to think how could people just stand in front there and talk so long, how could my boss always hovers like an annoying bee, how how, i will never and can never do that. and now i am doing it @.@..
Anyhow, the worst for today is over. Let's start facing the worst of tomorrows and never ending tomorrows.
As most of us are awaiting to harvest the ripen fruit, of what we call bonus, incentive, 13th month, AWS(Annual Wage Supplement), motivation, whatsoever you call it... i am finally feeling it.. not that it paid off the hard work shit, but more to i really deserve this badly to pay the bills and put bread and butter on the table. HAHAHAHA. For the first year of working life, you barely knew where you were heading, but when it hits the second, you somehow know where you are going.. maybe not to the ideal place, but the least, some place not unknown.
So now i am feeling the glory of being the household hope, or what my family likes to call it "the big water hose", which supplies water sufficiently to keep everyone clean and warm. Very brief, it feels so darn good bringing home money. It's not really the money, it's about fulfilling your role. The baggage is getting heavy, but by carrying it, i have satisfaction. It really feels good to finally be useful, to be the one sharing the burden, and seeing your love ones stop worrying about you, increasing the inch of trust and letting you take the lead. The reverse lead has taken its toll.
I hope i can do more for them. I hope the road is not rocky. I hope it will come true. But it's okay if nothing does, i will still be me, just the directions differing. Maybe we can plan a little in life, but never expect the fruits to be a definite sweet.
The winds of the summer sea
Be it as it can be
Go as you may sail
Go as you may trail
Colour me rainbow
Peering through like a growing sow
Are you looking?
Yes I am looking
For the rainbow's end pot of gold
Good night, and may you have a great rest in the long weekend ahead! (mine would be longer, haha)
posted by fern at
00:04
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