/* Editor is LUM MI-FERN --- My Grotesque Caricature*/




Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Life
does not always need to be ...

listen to people,
starts with straight As,
get a phd,
live with a job,
have success,
get married before 30 or get married at all,
temper throwing at spouse during pregnancy,
have kids,
throwing things at spouse due to mid-life crisis,
starts to worry coz you're getting fat,
starts to shout when wrinkles come say hi as your new friends,
start thinking that my husband or wife is having an affair,
children doesnt talk to me?
what if my retirement funds finish before i die?
what if i don't die, fall sick, nobody cares, left alone in the old folks' home, got depressed till the day they found you dead in the sick bed...


Maybe a better picture like...

have lots of sex, cannabis and smoke,
going casual with comfortable people or people you like,
you have quarter-life-crisis,
quit your monotonous job,
go see the world,
do something really silly once in a while,
challenge yourself towards something you really like to do but dare not till now,
like bikini parties, skydiving, dancing in the streets,
then you realised you're dead broke and achieve nothing at pass 30,
and you feel, i can't be doing nothing anymore,
then you would start to find something you'd like to do,
stay as a poor man with a post office job or kindergarten teach,
or do some real daredevil business investment till you strike dead rich or dead bankrupt,
you don't need to know what you'll do, it's all pure imagination, (you won't do it anyway)
then you don't know when you'll fall sick,
don't know where you'll end up at,
and don't know when you'll die off just like that.




posted by fern at 21:10 0 Comments

Friday, December 18, 2009

Do you have friends like mine

Have you ever had someone who walk with you in the streets at midnight in town just to catch supper? without knowing how dangerous the situation is, we still laughed till we catch a taxi back to the suburbs. Days without car. Poor and happy, youth and history.

Will never forget my first day in Taekwondo. From white to brown.

Do you go out for supper at 3am and come back at 5am, before you know it, you're out there eatin dimsum at that old sucky dimsum shop. But still laughed though the food taste awful. The wind so cold, amidst of a few pairs of baggy eyes facing you to make your ha kaw taste better.

Waved bye to the girl who went up the bus. The girl who always asked us to go sit at the swing. The girl who asked you to yumcha though she tells you she wants to sleep early. The girl who tells you she's busy watching drama, ttyl, yet she's still talking to you. The girl who tells you everything yet nothing. The girl who wrote my history, and still is writing.

You go to tesco at 7am to buy ingredients to boil soup back at your apartment's very limited kitchen. You go to tesco at 11pm to catch the almost last pieces of chicken to cook at a luxurious apartment down at klebang.

You get invited to go climb the narrowest hill in the neighbourhood that could practically have the most breath-taking scenery after a hard day or week. Before i reach the hill side, i'll always take a peep at a nearby friend's house, wishing that she could see us, wondering if she would see us.

Saturday night. We'll always whine about how bored our nights are, and not another second to loose, we'll get dressed up and suited up, heading all the way downtown with the pimps to cleanse ourselves at an old place called pure. So, you purify, and another good week ahead.

If we feel really really horrible, due to school work or emotional unstable, then we can just sit around looking at each other, without even needing to talk a word or two. maybe until 5am?

Have you ever pass up your thesis without brushing your teeth?

I get asked often, "Why you have friends like that?" I said, "Dunno wor. hahaha". They say," Why your friends all so weird wan?" I replied,"You are my friend also :)"

The very common teh ais, which brought us through the midnights and dawns. The late super hungry yet enjoyable dinners at mamak when the early rise town left us without a choice or two.

I have a friend who really likes teevee. and weehee. and bwee meeee. and that's so ever kewl. And all the guys think she's a goddess. But for me, you are my baybeh.

She's very good in everything. I didn't even look at her back at those days. and all those started with a simple lunch but horrible food, maybe two lonely people i guess.

I duno. I dun really remember a lot of people.

I only remember the kelapa sawit story. Then, gone my chan to sit Peugeot liao lor. Then he likes to pimp all the girls, and gay with all the guys. I wonder if his ass ever gets an off day.


I dun really have a lot of friends. Sometimes i feel life is so bored to have so few friends. You hate it so much because you don't see them often. I'm no saint. I don't buy bullshit, I don't even buy my guy's bullshit.. but i buy my friends' bullshit.





posted by fern at 22:48 1 Comments

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Wrapping Up


It's year end and always do what we always do.. wrapping up 2009 and resolutions for the coming 2010. It's like house keeping, but in the end, it gets all messy and dirty as well.. and it gets rolling

In 2009..

(1) Career path moved from research to industrial based
(2) Got my Open Water diver license in Tioman
(3) Celebrated Labour's Day & Arthur's Day at KL
(4) Moved to a new place
(5) 2 close family members rested in peace
(6) Decided to do Masters
(7) Went to Sabah for diving again :D
(8) My dog had puppies
(9) House in ipoh had renovation
(10) Singapore for a year is getting very boring but the Singaporean hunks are getting hotter

In 2010..hopefully

(1) Get out of Singapore
(2) Climb the corporate ladder
(3) Property research
(4) Europe backpacking
(5) West Malaysia, East side road trip
(6) Advance diver in Maldives
(7) Talk to him more
(8) Get in shape
(9) Almost forgot...excel in my TOEFL!
(10) Write more often :)


It's a deliberate 10 item list, yes it is.. to confine significance, and to pick myself up from all those messy dirty shit, and move on..hopefully to a better year. To those far from home this season, have a merry snowy xmas :) Happy New Year and Happy Holidays to all!


Captured in Tioman


Additional resolution for the love of the underwater world:
(1) Quit eating shark fin and anything related to turtle in chinese recipes
(2) Use less plastics
(3) Participate in seabed cleaning exercise


posted by fern at 15:27 1 Comments

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

The crawling nights

At times like this, a sudden gush sent me a message through that I would really like you to know I still care. But seems like, fate does not underlay everything. Most probably all these while it's really about me, and not about you, you and you. I did not persevere, I did not make the effort, I was selfish, stinky and lazy. I was the cynic you could not accept but adored dearly.

Almost lived up my quarter of century. My mind seems to be fully disdained tonight, in fact purely for the whole day. I could not live up to being emotional aside at work. It seems easy, but it's hard, I could not. I lost someone last week. Thinking back of the people i loved and cared all these while, worth or not worth, there were no regrets. I begin to hate myself for not treasuring the people around me back then, I hate the ticking chimes, which obliviously took away all my happy times. What if one day, it was again to happen and not just 'someone' but .. someone i can't live without, someone so precious to even count for.. How to accept? How will it do me? It will always be a loosing war towards death. Sad. Terrified to even think of. Why must there be goodbyes? Where do you go after that?? Answer me, anyone...


posted by fern at 02:13 0 Comments