/* Editor is LUM MI-FERN --- My Grotesque Caricature*/




Wednesday, October 18, 2006

The best could be the worse.
The wanted could be the unwanted.

If there is one thing which kills so often, it would be indolence...

Relive the unwanted, improve the worse, for even malignance is everywhere, this is my journey.

posted by fern at 18:32 0 Comments

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Life encounters…

How to oblige when you subversively identified a wrong decision of another party? How to handle such obligations? If you’d know there is a dead end at the hidden left corner, you’d definitely want to turn right. What if the other party wants the left lane? Relations between human is too complex to be solve, explained, either terrestrial or unknown.

It has been a ‘what if’ day, no sense at all, just feel great. 4 more days till I get my ass back to Ipoh since 3 months ago. Project 50% more to completion. Everything is so new, difficult and interesting. Thanks for those who helped, some literal appreciation first.

A day where padlocks could not be broken even you knew you need to get into the room. Nyahahaha! I don’t know what others are thinking but I know what I am thinking. Go straight, turn right.

posted by fern at 18:47 0 Comments

Sunday, October 15, 2006

“The past is expensive, it is irrevocable to be frank. If you want me to do it, I’ll have to charge you extra,” said the astrologer.

Quoted from CAST BUT ONE SHADOW AND WINTER LOVE by Han Suyin

posted by fern at 23:30 0 Comments

Friday, October 13, 2006

What’s now..

The moment after my last paper was like heaven! Had proper meals today and am quite proud of it!!! For the moment it is just work, squash and movies tonight! Shoulder aches now, too much chores, and the chores is never endingly torturous!

I have heaps of launderettes (minus the machine) waiting for me in 3 full tanked pails!!!
I have a very extremely messed up room to mess with for the next few days!!!
Too, another beloved pc longed to be fixed…. -.-



Me?

Did some thinking, probably did self-floating-meditation, a horrible gait and may scare others because your face paint the less comforting expression (cos actually you are not there). Felt painful about some decisions, but life gotta go on…... t`was kinda sad utterance but what uttered remain uttered. I have always thought that this decision was complex, instance, deriving a polarization wave equation, but actually what needed were simple understood answers, and questions probably to clear misunderstandings and expectations. Not too painful, but it released me well. I should just stop toggling repetitively. Things change and I have to go on, everyone is moving on, so am I. Hope to have more confidence and brighten up this holidays cos I know it’s gonna be great..



What’s coming up next?

“Leave me alone for the next week”

Have lots to do coming up next. Want to settle the Altera project as soon as possible with Luis and Sam. They have been really helpful and cooperative. Hope to have teams like this in future jobs uphold. My task is..i feel it is difficult, impossible to cope, but not gonna give up before I try my best, though I want it to be a success,( it’s gonna be a success!!!) but I wanna put myself low first for the mean time just for calamity expenses, put it in a budget to not burst, to stay safe.

En-route this time is KL-IPH-KCH-MLK. Can I do it in 2 weeks’ time together will all the festive rush of other races? Ngek Ngek. I miss my doggie bee, wanna hop up to Penang just to kiss herrrr….arrr…stressing to miss her to much..definitely gonna see her this raya!!! Love herrr!!!



Shopping!

I’m gonna be a devil this season...aces goes places, with prudent credential capabilities, nothing cheap is going out of my sight!!!

Can’t wait to be back, but need to arrange stuff, clear off and settle everything before packing home! Miss home! Always here….wakakkakakaka…

posted by fern at 12:25 0 Comments

Monday, October 09, 2006

The crepe of my lids could barely push up. The mild line of vision tried to determine whether the day had arrived. The heavy head felt like steel armor to me. Yes, it is day, it was already afternoon.


-Less sleep and intoxicated by haze-

posted by fern at 00:14 0 Comments

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Days have been bad…not enough confidence, keep forgetting important facts and scared to be diluted by the exams..

Yesterday I had a bad paper, many more to mourn for I guess. I can’t do in exams. I can’t do means I just can’t. Where to utter my inspiration once again? I need to find one, really good one, to make me start working endlessly again, only one direction, to score and soar. Wanna do better, but just can’t…it's suffocating.

Building a better foundation needs cement,so much bricks and all the importance…just wanna try my best..but I’m so scared..inspiration, hope you are with me altogether now..found it, least make it last till my last paper. Cruel world with difficult exams all around..

Back to books...

posted by fern at 14:13 0 Comments